Songs of Me - as of 2015

I recently went through my message drafts and found songs that I've been collecting since the late '00s as songs that resonated with me or described me in some way.  As it's currently trending, I figured I'd reveal the list (unedited) to share with my readers the songs that have shaped me into the strong, adventurous, and definitely weird woman that I am today. 

Music has always been an incredible influence in my life. The last update was from 2015, but I still listen to many of these songs to remind me of where I came from, where I've gone, and what I have to look forward to.

And so, without further ado, my list:

1. Radio Ballet--Eluvium
2. New Soul--Yael Naim
3. Hail--Imagine This (Aaron Lazar)
4. Dance of the Manatee--Fair to Midland
5. Hero of War--Rise Against
6. When Catholic Girls Go Camping, The Nicotine Vampires Rule Supreme--Giraffes? Giraffes!
7. Blackbirds-- Erin McKeown
8. Anywhere-- Evanescence
9. Too Late To Apologize (A Declaration)
10. Just Another Boyband--The Midnight Beast
11. Landlocked Blues-- Bright Eyes
12. The Cave-- Mumford & Sons
13. Explosion Medley-- Sam Tsui
14. Handlebars-- Flobots
15. Buroughs of the Ocean-- The Sleeping
16. Ohio is for Lovers-- Hawthorne Heights
17. Flower Duet-- Lakme
18. Sweet Home Alabama-- Lynyrd Skynyrd
19. Song of the South-- Alabama
20. Devil Went Down to Georgia-- Charlie Daniels Band
21. Chicken Fried-- Zac Brown Band
22. Alcohol-- Brad Paisley
23. Gunpowder and Lead-- Miranda Lambert
24. John Wayne-- Sons of Sylvia
25. Somethin' Bout Love-- David Archuleta
26. Kryptonite-- 3 Doors Down
27. New Slang-- The Shins
28. Sweet Serendipity-- Lee Dewyze
29. Keep Your Head Up-- Andy Grammer
30. If I Die Young-- The Band Perry
31. Hero/Heroine-- Boys Like Girls
32. Pray-- Justin Bieber
33. Ghost-- Fefe Dobson
34. Dignity-- New Politics
35. For the First Time-- The Script
36. The Writer-- Ellie Goulding
37. Every Breath--Boyce Avenue
38. Guardian Stones-- Fairyland
39. Loving You Tonight-- Andrew Allen
40. Wavin' Flag-- K'naan
41. One Day-- Matisyahu
42. Happily Every After-- He is We
43. Everybody Knows-- John Legend
44. If You're Out There-- Cover by Aaron Zart (John Legend)
45. Hannah-- Freelance Whales
46. Only Girl (Cover)-- Mike Tompkins
47. I Don't Know-- Lisa Hannigan
48. Zombie-- The Cranberries
49. Springtime-- Erland and the Carnival
50. Livin' In the Jungle-- Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears
51. Unbeautiful-- Lesley Roy
52. Left 4 Dead-- Papercut Massacre
53. Save the World-- Swedish House Mafia
54. Skinny Genes-- Eliza Doolittle
55. Gorgeous Nightmare-- Escape the Fate
56. Unbreakable-- Fireflight
57. Black and Gold-- Sam Sparro
58. The Last Time-- All That Remains
59. Skinny Love-- Birdy
60. What the Water Gave Me-- Florence and the Machine
61. Sun of a Gun-- Oh Land
62. Keep Breathing-- Ingrid Michaelson
63. Rock & Roll-- Eric Hutchinson
64. The Blower's Daughter-- Damien Rice
65. The Call-- Matt Kennon
66. Jump in the Line-- Harry Belfonte
67. Every Tear is a Waterfall-- Coldplay
68. In Your Arms-- Kina Grannis
69. Coda-- Chris Bathgate
70. Human Love-- Sunday Girl
71. You'll Never Walk Alone-- Gerry and the Pacemakers
72. Down By the Water-- The Decemberists
73. Walking with Happiness-- The Best Pessimist
74. Tighten Up-- The Black Keys
75. Us-- Regina Spektor
76. A Drop in the Ocean-- Ron Pope
77. My Vagina is Eight Miles Wide-- Storm Large
78. Me Against the World-- Simple Plan
79. Nobody's Fault But Mine-- Beth Rowley
80. You are Loved-- Josh Groban
81. Cocaine-- Bebe
82. Love My Soul-- Cafe del Mar
83. I will Follow You into the Dark-- Death Cab for Cutie
84. Eyes Closed-- The Narrative
85. Bloom-- The Paper Kites
86. We Own the Sky-- M83
87. Pretty Face-- Soley
88. Fine By Me-- Andy Grammer
89. The Dreamer-- The Tallest Man on Earth
90. All of my Heart-- Sleeping with Sirens
91. Like a Man-- Adam Cohen
92. Cowboys and Angels-- Dustin Lynch
93. The Thunder Rolls-- Garth Brooks
94. Titanium-- David Guetta feat. Sia
95. Tomorrow Will Be Kinder-- The Secret Sisters
96. Every Morning-- Sugar Ray
97. Brass Bed-- Josh Gracin
98. I will Fade-- Archive
99. Paranoid Eyes-- Pink Floyd
100. January Wedding-- The Avett Brothers
101. I've Got This Friend-- The Civil Wars
102. I'd Rather Be With You-- Joshua Radin
103. We Fall Apart-- We as Human
104. Wagon Wheel-- Darius Rucker
105. Lead Me-- Sanctus Real
106. Broken Girl-- Matthew West
107. Feeling of Being-- Lucy Schwartz
108. Ramona-- Night Beds
109. Little Talks-- Of Monsters and Men
110. Ready or Not-- Bridgit Mendler
111. Dance with Me Tonight-- Olly Murs
112. Afterglow-- Wilkinson
113. Chocolate-- The 1975
114. Latch-- Disclosure feat. Sam Smith
115. Give Me Love-- Ed Sheeran
116. Headphones-- Matt Nathanson
117. Hearts on Fire-- Passenger
118. Me and My Broken Heart-- Rixton
119. R.I.P.-- Rita Ora feat. Tinie Tempeh
120. Mad World-- Jasmine Thompson
121. Mess is Mine-- Vance Joy
122. Sadnecessary-- Milky Chance
123. Take Me to Church-- Hozier
124. The Death of Me-- City and Colour
125. Oceans-- Seafret

Sara Sucks at Fitness Update: New Year, New Perspective

well...

...that didn't go as planned.

On December 28th, with 3 days to go in my challenge, I quit.

There are excuses. I couldn't bend over to touch my toes because my quads and glutes hurt so much.
I had to stay up really late to cat up on some long over-due work one night and missed out on like 85 squats and the thought of catching them up was too daunting.
My body was tired and needed more than just 3 rest days that month, especially because I was doing the prescribed number of squats on top of all of my regular runs, core work outs, and Zumba Step (I love my instructor, but good LORD does she love her squat songs!).
Excuses, valid or no, are still excuses and I was so close that my failure feels like a punch to the gut.

But I need to walk away from it stronger, not weaker. I mean, hells bells. I just did 1700 squats in December.  I'm fairly certain that that's more squats than I'd ever done in my life.  I better have a gloriously strong behind.

More seriously, I need to walk away knowing that because I have come so close now, I can reach my goal in the future.
I need to know that integrating challenges into my daily routine will lead me to a more successful result in life as well as the gym.
I need to know that it's okay to share my progress with others because they'll cheer me on and give me the strength to push through to the finish when I think I'm too tired.
I need to know that, damn, I just did 1700 squats, and that's not nothing.

So happy 2018, folks and blokes. I'll be back at it again in no time.

Female Friendship

There are some friends who grow with you until you both grow apart.
There are some friends whose path you cross once and never meet again.
There are some friends who will lead the charge into drunken shenanigans.

This is a letter to one of my greatest friends, who is none of the above.
If you don't understand, good. You don't have to.
--

Florida Is Not Indonesia:

           where you have blessed

                                

Caramelizing skin in a hot southern sun,

sand like sugar crystals on bare feet

pacing slowly with great purpose

Under the omniscient eyes of her Father,

loving others as she has been loved by Him.

Poised and vivacious laughter spilling from the same lips

as speak encouragement to wayfaring hearts

and comfort to salt-streaked eyes.

Calloused souls massaged and manicured

by a collective sense of peace.

Ask of her nothing. She already gives freely

and gift her your time to be rewarded twice over.

Wit, tenor, charity, true

Kismet drawn, and bound by greatness

to travel with grace to the least of these.

Endings are bittersweet, a chocolate best found in cookies

which there are sure to be a lot of.

Her sweet tooth is as bad as mine.

So I ask of the universe, could one have been sent a better friend?

Vespers (A collection of 3 poems)

I. A sentence

, which is not to say that I am lacking in that respect, but rather that my voice, a voice that relies on a pair of inherited chromosomes, the eternal promise that this air, the same air we’re sharing, will always be able to vibrate and carry those vibrations and transfer them to the hidden receptacles within your body so that you can interpret them, and not an insignificant amount of chance that my shaking voice will match to patterns you are familiar with – but of course you must be familiar with them as you are human and I am human and our humanities allow for a certain amount of innate understanding of one another unless you are, well, you know those people to whom I refer; there is a difference between talking and speaking and it lies in the fact that for one, there is no purpose, and for the other, the purpose is complex, evolving, and inviting others to eventually join a larger conversation over something that is personally meaningful and to somehow have to convey these abstract ideas and words by means of voices over which we have no control,

II.An Afterthought OR My views on the purpose of existence

(                          )

III.My Poem

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth.” – Oscar Wilde

I speak with words not my own.

Who owns each syllable, each sound that drops from my lips like diamonds and diamondbacks?

Each hiss of breath,

hiss of hot lead

feverishly melting in delicate patterns on paper,

who owns this?

The writer has the fever,

infects her audience with its heat,

but the fever belongs to the disease which has come before,

and will come again,

though an age may pass in between of curséd health.

It’s the cacophony of teeth,

the smell of sweat and stale vomit,

the neatly simmered rage,

all of these things of mine,

that plagiarize the playwrights and philosophers of old,

those rulers of the Golden age of thought and reason and linguistic innovation,

who, in turn, plagiarized the divinity of the planets they could see,

somehow turning them into a mockery of a representation in the process.

But the planets are mere shadows in the background of some ancient man’s cave painting

and in the foreground is the only truth he knows:

the immediacy of his situation and,

unable to see past his need and into the future, he

like me,

speaks with words not our own.