What's your number?

What's your number? How many more mass shootings until we decide "Hey, maybe it's time to sacrifice some of our privileges (and yes, it is a privilege to be able to afford a semi- or full automatic weapon or high capacity magazine) for others to continue to exercise their right to live?"

For me, this is 191 too many.

Columbine High School.
Heritage High School.
Deming Middle School.
Fort Gibson Middle School.
Buell Elementary School.
Lake Worth Middle School.
University of Arkansas.
Junipero Serra High School.
Santana High School.
Bishop Neumann High School.
Pacific Lutheran University.
Granite Hills High School.
Lew Wallace High School.
Martin Luther King, Jr. High School.
Appalachian School of Law.
Washington High School.
Conception Abbey.
Benjamin Tasker Middle School.
University of Arizona.
Lincoln High School.
John McDonogh High School.
Red Lion Area Junior High School.
Case Western Reserve University.
Rocori High School.
Ballou High School.
Randallstown High School.
Bowen High School.
Red Lake Senior High School.
Harlan Community Academy High School. Campbell County High School.
Milwee Middle School.
Roseburg High School.
Pine Middle School.
Essex Elementary School.
Duquesne University.
Platte Canyon High School.
Weston High School.
West Nickel Mines School.
Joplin Memorial Middle School.
Henry Foss High School.
Compton Centennial High School.
Virginia Tech.
Success Tech Academy.
Miami Carol City Senior High School.
Hamilton High School.
Louisiana Technical College.
Mitchell High School.
E.O. Green Junior High School.
Northern Illinois University.
Lakota Middle School.
Knoxville Central High School.
Willoughby South High School.
Henry Ford High School.
University of Central Arkansas.
Dillard High School.
Dunbar High School.
Hampton University.
Harvard College.
Larose-Cut Off Middle School.
International Studies Academy.
Skyline College.
Discovery Middle School.
University of Alabama.
DeKalb School.
Deer Creek Middle School.
Ohio State University.
Mumford High School.
University of Texas.
Kelly Elementary School.
Marinette High School.
Aurora Central High School.
Millard South High School.
Martinsville West Middle School.
Worthing High School.
Highlands Intermediate School.
Cape Fear High School.
Chardon High School.
Episcopal School of Jacksonville.
Oikos University, Hamilton High School.
Perry Hall School.
Normal Community High School.
University of South Alabama.
Banner Academy South.
University of Southern California.
Sandy Hook Elementary School.
Apostolic Revival Center Christian School.
Taft Union High School.
Osborn High School.
Stevens Institute of Business and Arts.
Hazard Community and Technical College.
Chicago State University.
Lone Star College-North.
Cesar Chavez High School.
Price Middle School.
University of Central Florida.
New River Community College.
Grambling State University.
Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
Ossie Ware Mitchell Middle School.
Ronald E. McNair Discovery Academy.
North Panola High School.
Carver High School.
Gape Christian Academy.
Sparks Middle School.
North Carolina A&T State University.
Stephenson High School.
Brashear High School.
West Orange High School.
Arapahoe High School.
Edison High School.
Liberty Technology Magnet High School.
Hillhouse High School.
Berrendo Middle School.
Purdue University.
South Carolina State University.
Los Angeles Valley College.
Charles F. Brush High School.
University of Southern California.
Georgia Regents University.
Academy of Knowledge Preschool.
Benjamin Banneker High School.
D. H. Conley High School.
East English Village Preparatory Academy.
Paine College.
Georgia Gwinnett College.
John F. Kennedy High School.
Seattle Pacific University.
Reynolds High School.
Miami Alternative School.
Indiana State University.
Albemarle High School.
Fern Creek Traditional High School.
Langston Hughes High School.
Marysville Pilchuck High School.
Florida State University.
Miami Carol City High School.
Rogers State University.
Rosemary Anderson High School.
Wisconsin Lutheran High School.
Frederick High School.
Tenaya Middle School.
Bethune-Cookman University.
Pershing Elementary School.
Wayne Community College.
J.B. Martin Middle School.
Southwestern Classical Academy.
Savannah State University.
Harrisburg High School.
Umpqua Community College.
Northern Arizona University.
Texas Southern University.
Tennessee State University.
Winston-Salem State University.
Mojave High School.
Lawrence Central High School.
Franklin High School.
Muskegon Heights High School.
Independence High School.
Madison High School.
Antigo High School.
University of California-Los Angeles.
Jeremiah Burke High School.
Alpine High School.
Townville Elementary School.
Vigor High School.
Linden McKinley STEM Academy.
June Jordan High School for Equity.
Union Middle School.
Mueller Park Junior High School.
West Liberty-Salem High School.
University of Washington.
King City High School.
North Park Elementary School.
North Lake College.
Freeman High School.
Mattoon High School.
Rancho Tehama Elementary School.
Aztec High School.
Wake Forest University.
Italy High School.
NET Charter High School.
Marshall County High School.
Sal Castro Middle School.
Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School
Great Mills High School
Central Michigan University
Huffman High School
Frederick Douglass High School
Forest High School
Highland High School
Dixon High School
Santa Fe High School

Call local businesses that sell firearms and ammunition.
Call city councilors, state senators or representatives, mayors, governors, and attorney generals.
Call your congressional representatives.

This matters. You matter. Why are you waiting? You can stop this.

Sara Sucks at Fitness Update: New Year, New Perspective

well...

...that didn't go as planned.

On December 28th, with 3 days to go in my challenge, I quit.

There are excuses. I couldn't bend over to touch my toes because my quads and glutes hurt so much.
I had to stay up really late to cat up on some long over-due work one night and missed out on like 85 squats and the thought of catching them up was too daunting.
My body was tired and needed more than just 3 rest days that month, especially because I was doing the prescribed number of squats on top of all of my regular runs, core work outs, and Zumba Step (I love my instructor, but good LORD does she love her squat songs!).
Excuses, valid or no, are still excuses and I was so close that my failure feels like a punch to the gut.

But I need to walk away from it stronger, not weaker. I mean, hells bells. I just did 1700 squats in December.  I'm fairly certain that that's more squats than I'd ever done in my life.  I better have a gloriously strong behind.

More seriously, I need to walk away knowing that because I have come so close now, I can reach my goal in the future.
I need to know that integrating challenges into my daily routine will lead me to a more successful result in life as well as the gym.
I need to know that it's okay to share my progress with others because they'll cheer me on and give me the strength to push through to the finish when I think I'm too tired.
I need to know that, damn, I just did 1700 squats, and that's not nothing.

So happy 2018, folks and blokes. I'll be back at it again in no time.

Sara Sucks at Fitness

2017 was a year of first for me, fitness wise.

I'm pretty sure it's the first time that I have intentionally jogged at least once every single month (although maybe not every single week...). We're starting small here.

I also ran my second and third half-marathons, which means it was the first time I have run 2 major races in a single year and, totaled together, I basically ran a marathon (hearty guffaw).

I got my first tattoo.  It is located on my foot which is prone to going numb while running and I haven't yet scheduled my first doctor's appointment to see if that may be a cause.

I found my first pair of shoes that totally cured my foot-numbness-while-running (God bless you Lincoln Running Company and Brooks Glycerin 14s) and I also subsequently wore out those shoes and went right back to where I started.  To solve that problem, I made my first multiple shoe purchase and bought 2 pairs of the exact same shoe in a size that feels much too big for me normally but fit just right when I run.

I bought the Tube and it was a total game changer.

I learned the value of a good lacrosse ball and/or foam roller.

I started Zumba Step.

I ran my first adventure race, which was a triathlon sprint (canoeing, trail running, and biking) and I learned that my feet still can't handle anything but roads or they fall asleep in protest (lazy bitches, but I love them).

I started regularly attending a core class. Sure it's only 25 minutes. Sure it's only once a week. But I'm doing it and that's what counts.

I started night-running.

And yet for all of this, I'm still a turgle who magnificently manages to con myself out of morning exercise day after day.  Something's gotta change.

So I challenged myself, this month, to do yet another first.  I have always wanted to, and yet managed, to complete this thing.  It has eluded me because, as I said, I am a master deception artist who can justify my apathy towards anything in a given moment. My brain knows I am overtly lying to itself and yet I still succeed in tricking it into submission.

And so, this month, I have challenged myself.....to complete the Holiday Squat-a-Thon.  By December 31st, I will have completed 1975 squats.  Why 1975?  Idk. Because on the rest days I don't do any. Because The 1975 is a kickass band even though I sometimes can't understand all of the words they sing.  Because Bill Gates and Paul Allen founded Microsoft that year in Albuquerque.  Who even knows?

Whatever the reason, I'm doing this because I can and because I want to and because, frankly, I need to up my workout intensity if I want to justify the amount of carbs I'm going to enjoy this Christmas.

So Merry Squat-mas, Happy Christmas, and to all a blessed holiday season.

Cheers!

Career Goals: an introspective

The world is white-black and my eyes are liars who’ve not yet betrayed my heart.

Destructive interference in cardiomyopic waves,

Solutions muddled in a Collins glass shaken with two parts rum, one part lime juice and Hemingway’s pen scratching away on a white-black book against this dingy bar,

Drinking until his dreams are no longer paralyzing.

A Hemingway and a Hamlet

Torn in directions by dreams

By dreams, per chance, or by duty

To find calling in the world or to be led, listless, towards a destiny chosen by your father?

It’s a difficult path to pioneer when you head fights your heart,

but where is the path for the heart that fights itself?

A ring with only one boxer has no winner,

Only a point: it is fruitless to try to strike the left hand with the left glove.

By duty am I bound

But lies down this fate no freedom, that is

No delight, that is

No guilt.

By passion am I drawn

But lies down this fate no honor, that is

No fidelity, that is

No rancor.

Butter-rum skin on universal white-black canvas

melting indecisively as though relativity were a joke everyone is in on but me:

An imposter-scribe of my own life events

Fighting the shadow of the thoughts that create me

Betraying the cardial crossroads when my eyes sneak a glance at one of a million possible destinations.

Keystone XL Pipeline VETOED!!!...And why this isn't as good as it sounds

I'm someone who considers herself to be deeply connected the environment that surrounds my home. When I heard about the Keystone XL Pipeline and all of it's not-so-secret detrimental effects to the environment, I took up arms and banners against it. I protested and posted blogs.  I let my friends on social media and the poor interns at my senators' and representative's offices have it.  I was angry.

I still am.


1) The Keystone XL Pipeline infringes upon thousands of acres of valuable corridor habitat. These places allow migratory species to rest and refuel before continuing their journey to their summer or winter homes.

2) KXL carries the severe potential to leak.  While the the organizations who have vouchsafed the material that the pipeline would be constructed out of, they either could not or would not test the junctions, which is where most major leaks occur.

3) The process to extract and refine tar sands oil is inefficient and costly.

4) The "thousands" of jobs created are part-time and does not create a sustained job market.

BUT...Who is invested in this project?

If we just look at the list above, you see 2 investors:
            1) The United States (Government and People)
            2) Canadian Fuel Market

But (hold onto your socks, they're about to get knocked off) we're not the only ones who matter in a global market.

Are we honestly so arrogant to think that if we stop KXL from being built that Canada will just say, "Oh, OK. If the US doesn't want our oil, then we just won't develop this highly coveted resource"?

I was. I thought about my home.  Nebraska farmers and city-folk alike came together and submitted claims of unconstitutionality against KXL.  I thought about about the sandhills and the bluffs and the rivers, all unique environments desperately needed by the migratory birds that we are so famous for in early spring.  I thought about my air and water quality and the economy that I participate in.

But, in the grand scheme of things, I don't matter.

Let's give ourselves a brief pat on the back, U.S.  Even though we are still far from acceptable, the United States has set, maintained, and (more importantly) enforced certain environmental standards that are among the best and most rigorous in the world. And that's just on a federal level. State-wise, there can be additional regulations and consequences to reduce contamination and detrimental development.  (Insert happy dance).

But don't get too happy. In 2010 study, we still ranked 25th out of 25 developed and typically Western countries with environmental standards.  And, if we are so low, imagine the types of standards and level of enforcement (or, perhaps more fitting, lack thereof) in less developed countries or in those countries that are even more isolationist than we are.

Let's look at China, another heavy hitter and high bidder for this valuable, but dangerous resource. In a very brief comparison summary of Chinese vs US air quality standards, you can see that Chinese air contamination (and lack of strict environmental regulations) severely affects the quality of life of the people, especially children, living there. Primary school students have to be taught how to breathe shallowly in order to minimize their exposure to pollution.

Now let's get hypothetical:
The US has broken off all ties to Canada's tar sands oil.  We've explicitly stated we will not permit it within our borders.  China, now the highest bidder, gets the oil.
              Problem 1: Oil can only be exported to China via oceanic oil tankers. Great.  Before we even get the fuel to China, we have to deal with an increased risk of oil spills in the Pacific. 
Once the oil gets to the various Chinese plants and stations that require it, it is burned.
             Problem 2: Depending on the location of these plants/stations, environmental regulations cannot be reliably enforced. Cool. So, omitting the disastrous levels of pollution that get put out in the extraction and refining processes AND  the pollution and risk of spills to get the oil to these plants/stations [both of which hold similar variables in the US's version of this equation], there might not be any actual environmental regulation on how much of this oil can be burned at once/how to get rid of any dangerous by-products/etc...

In this hypothetical situation, the net negative of the US not having KXL outweighs the net negative of the US building KXL.  In this situation, one of many like it, the US was actually globally irresponsible in refusing the oil.

Back to the point: the president vetoed the bill to approve the construction of KXL today.
For the US regional ecosystem, this is undoubtedly a win.
In order for it to also be a win on a global scale, we have to look past our economy, our environment, our small but significant lives.
At the grandest scale, we need to eradicate the need for oil.
At the present scale, we need to eradicate the need for this particular Canadian tar sands oil.

An Open Letter to President Obama and the 113th United States Congress

Mr. President, Senators, and Representatives,

I would like to express my extreme displeasure at the way you look at your homeland.  You stare at it with greedy eyes, reminiscent of the cartoon characters we used to watch on Saturday mornings.  Your soul eats evil green paper like it is the food of the gods and your belt of morality gets tighter and tighter until you take it off and all you have left is your hunger.

This is unacceptable.

America is not a run down gas station that needs more brown oil oozing through its cracks and faults.  It is not a bank account that you can withdraw from and then, when you're overdrawn, you just get a slap on the wrist.

America is a landscape, a factory, a conversation.  It takes effort, critical thinking, and maintenance, not magic, petty grovelling, and band-aid solutions.  We are better than that.  You are better than that.  Wake up and realize this.

To my point, Representatives and Senators who have supported the Keystone XL Pipeline:
Shame on you.  You are lacking in perhaps the most important aspect of governance and that is working towards sustainability.  The founding fathers wrote the Bill of Rights knowing full well that it would have been easier to explicitly state all of the rights that individuals, state governments, and the federal government had because limitations would make working within the system easier.  However, they knew that it was not sustainable and they had to reach a compromise that allowed for ambiguity, uncertainty about the changing times, in order to maintain a thriving United States.

The bill you are pushing through has no such concessions for uncertainty and evolution of American culture.  It is a bedazzled eye-sore that you are forcing, unwanted, upon us American citizens who still believe that this crazy system is working.

Mr. Obama:
It has come out that, while you may still veto the approval of the Keystone Pipeline, you may use it as a bargaining chip in the future.  Mr. President, our country is not a bargaining chip and if you think that our country only extends to the urban environments, then you are sorely mistaken.

The facts are there: the jobs created by the Pipeline are temporary and we could be putting our construction industry to far better and more sustainable use.  The pipes are structurally strong in the middle, but the junctions are untested, which is where leaks occur.  Most of the revenue that is expected to come out of this project will not even stay in the US.  By enabling Canada's fracking, which is widely accepted as a danger process for both the human and environmental elements, the US would send a message to the world that the end, however temporary, justifies the means.

But clearly facts are not at play here.  Science, once picked up by the political system, becomes meaningless.  And it is for this reason, that I am imploring you on the basis of your humanity, your appreciation of beauty, and your faith in the American people to take the high road: Please do not approve of the Keystone XL Pipeline.

We are better than that.


-----
To contact your senator, visit:
http://www.senate.gov/reference/common/faq/How_to_contact_senators.htm

To get more facts about the Keystone XL Pipeline, visit:
http://www.factcheck.org/2014/03/pipeline-primer/

I'm not a "People-Person"

I have a lot of apologizing to do, I suppose.

I'm sorry to my housemate who walked in my room just a few hours after I returned from a really long road trip to try to tell me something helpful and all I wanted to do was lay in my bed and watch Game of Thrones so I came off sounding like a detached brat.

I'm sorry to all (if any) of the readers of my blog for not posting in a long time.  One thing led to another and then writing began to seem like an obligation rather than something I actually enjoyed.  My apathy got the better of me and senioritis kicked in like it never had before.  Like seriously, I thought I had it bad in high school?  Guess again, kid.  The lack of motivation is paralyzing and, worse, frustrating.  I know I can do better, but I still find myself calling it quits far too easily.

Sorry, self-deprecating ramble.

So here's something new: I'm doing awful at physics again.  How many times will it take me to realize that simple of equations of kinematics depend on where you put the damn sign.  Do you know how many times I've gotten questions wrong simply because I put a positive where I should have put a negative?  Or when I've divided where I should've subtracted?  It's mortifying.

And I think I'm losing my touch.  I'm not able to stay up as late as I used to.  I'm usually in bed by midnight/1 am and all nighters are getting harder and harder to do.  Oh well, I suppose it comes with territory of growing up, along with paying your own rent, deductibles, and taxes. Ugh.

But the amazing thing about not being a people-person is that I am allowed, by society, to retreat into my room like some sort of hermit who found a treasure that she doesn't want to share.  I don't particularly do anything in my room, but sometimes it's nice just to know that I can sit there and stare at the ceiling and hate myself in peace and quiet.  You know, like a kind of introspective opossum.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/fire_brace/

A musing that I would like to leave you with as I go quietly into my goodnight because I soooo need it if I'm going to do well on my physics test on Friday:
Given the current trend of weather (increasingly late summers and winters) and the earth's history of polar reversal, I wonder if, perhaps sometime in my grandkids' lifetimes, America's Independence Day will be held in the winter and Christmas will be held in the summer....
Just a thought.
Cheers!

An Inactive Activist

I did something horrible today.

No, I did not kill someone, but thanks for putting it into perspective for me.

Today, I stayed inside and lay on my bed and watched as my neighbor washed out his paintbrushes in his lawn.

Why is that so bad, you ask?

With all the rains the Midwest has been getting, the ground is already saturated.  I don't know whether or not he used an environmentally-friendly paint, but I will assume not because they're not typical for interior paint jobs.  Therefore, all of the unsafe chemicals in the paint will enter the top soil which, already being saturated, means that those chemicals will be the first things in our water systems next time it rains.

Not only that, but he was using a hose.  A HOSE!!!! FOR 2 MEASLY PAINT BRUSHES!!!! Thanks to the Internet, we know that a hose has an average flow rate of about 3.5 gallons per minute.  This guy was washing each brush for roughly 5 minutes.  Let's do some basic math, people:

2 brushes x 5 minutes/brush x 3.5 gallons/minute = 35 gallons of water wasted!!!!

When he could have used a 1 gallon, 5 gallon, or even 10 gallon bucket and got the same results!!!!

And I stayed inside. And laid on my bed. And watched as my neighbor washed out his paintbrushes on his lawn.

English freak. Science geek. Social Activist Wannabe.  Well, the wannabe really came out here.
I knew the science.
I'm working the English even as you read this right now.
But I didn't act.

Acting is a conscious choice that, most of the time, is very difficult.

Sometimes you think, "The situation isn't clear enough" or "I'm not close enough" or "I wasn't ready".  And sometimes, that may be the case, but that doesn't make the action any less hard.  The situation was clear, I was close enough, and I wasn't preparing for anything else and yet I still didn't act.

And so I confess my crime to be complacency and I stand before you, my readers and friends, my judge and jury.  I cannot promise that this will not happen again, only that I have recognized my mistake and will not be so ignorant to my apathy in the future.

Even the best of us fail and I certainly will lay no claim to being the best.
But, starting today, I will be better.