Female Friendship

There are some friends who grow with you until you both grow apart.
There are some friends whose path you cross once and never meet again.
There are some friends who will lead the charge into drunken shenanigans.

This is a letter to one of my greatest friends, who is none of the above.
If you don't understand, good. You don't have to.
--

Florida Is Not Indonesia:

           where you have blessed

                                

Caramelizing skin in a hot southern sun,

sand like sugar crystals on bare feet

pacing slowly with great purpose

Under the omniscient eyes of her Father,

loving others as she has been loved by Him.

Poised and vivacious laughter spilling from the same lips

as speak encouragement to wayfaring hearts

and comfort to salt-streaked eyes.

Calloused souls massaged and manicured

by a collective sense of peace.

Ask of her nothing. She already gives freely

and gift her your time to be rewarded twice over.

Wit, tenor, charity, true

Kismet drawn, and bound by greatness

to travel with grace to the least of these.

Endings are bittersweet, a chocolate best found in cookies

which there are sure to be a lot of.

Her sweet tooth is as bad as mine.

So I ask of the universe, could one have been sent a better friend?

Career Goals: an introspective

The world is white-black and my eyes are liars who’ve not yet betrayed my heart.

Destructive interference in cardiomyopic waves,

Solutions muddled in a Collins glass shaken with two parts rum, one part lime juice and Hemingway’s pen scratching away on a white-black book against this dingy bar,

Drinking until his dreams are no longer paralyzing.

A Hemingway and a Hamlet

Torn in directions by dreams

By dreams, per chance, or by duty

To find calling in the world or to be led, listless, towards a destiny chosen by your father?

It’s a difficult path to pioneer when you head fights your heart,

but where is the path for the heart that fights itself?

A ring with only one boxer has no winner,

Only a point: it is fruitless to try to strike the left hand with the left glove.

By duty am I bound

But lies down this fate no freedom, that is

No delight, that is

No guilt.

By passion am I drawn

But lies down this fate no honor, that is

No fidelity, that is

No rancor.

Butter-rum skin on universal white-black canvas

melting indecisively as though relativity were a joke everyone is in on but me:

An imposter-scribe of my own life events

Fighting the shadow of the thoughts that create me

Betraying the cardial crossroads when my eyes sneak a glance at one of a million possible destinations.

10 things I learned from my first 10 days in China

I am embarking on a year-long journey to teach English in a country where I can't speak or read anything, with credentials any American school would scoff at.

I better have a steep learning curve.

1. Develop a keen sense of SPATIAL AWARENESS.

This is probably the most important thing I've learned. One of the guys in my program is half-Chinese and he noted that this generation really is the very first generation of Chinese drivers.  Hence the merging, lane changing, turning, and stopping like complete maniacs.  Also, standing in line? Doesn't really happen much.  So, whether you want to stay alive on the streets of Beijing or simply get on an elevator, know who and what is around you at all times.

2. Don't laugh at people wearing masks.

I know. In the US, it looks weird if someone is walking around wearing a medical mask. You might think they're being overcautious or pretentious.  In China, however, the pollution is so bad that they sky is almost never blue and the sun is never ever yellow. My host sister in Shijiazhuang explained to me that the sky is always gray and the sun is always white and if they ever see a blue sky, it means that the following day will be extremely hot.  I actually got sick in Shijiazhuang because my system wasn't prepared to filter out that much pollution.

3. Get used to the staring. Get used to the pictures. Get used to being a novelty.

Chinese people are shameless at this. Best thing to do? Smile and wave.

4. Just about anything can be eaten with chopsticks.

Watermelon? No problem. Pizza? Absolutely. Rice? You guessed it. Soup? Somehow, miraculously, yes.

5. Just because you can't speak the language doesn't mean you're stupid (even if they think you are).

This goes for Americans too.  All this nonsense about "If you're in my country, you better speak my language" is completely obsolete.  With the world becoming more and more connected (through internet, travel, etc.), knowing just a few important words and phrases (combined with a lot of pointing and sign language) is much more important for communication.  Language is very cultural and has meanings that can go beyond simply conveying information. You are not stupid just because you don't understand those cultural meanings.

6. Watch your tone.

A former teacher in Chengde told us a story about a time when he was with his boss and a bunch of colleagues signing for his pay.  He intended to compliment his boss (a woman) about her pen, which he said was nice and looked very expensive. However the word classifier for pen is zhī which looks the almost the same as the word for vagina (zhì).  So instead of complimenting her pen, he accidentally sexually harassed his boss.

7. There are a ton of holidays in China.

Seriously, when I start teaching next week, I'll have 2 days of class and then a 3 day holiday.  I get a week off  in October for their National Heritage Day (think Chinese-version of 4th of July, only spread out over a week).  I get 2 months between 1st and 2nd semester, and those are just the ones I know about. America, take note.

8. There is such a thing as Cheenglish and yes, it's as hilarious as it is sounds.

You'll see it everywhere. Menus that say "Sons of Milk Tea". T-shirts that say "Rock and Roll Never Die Will".  Laugh it off. Don't bother to correct. Take lots of pictures to show your friends.

9.  Don't drink the water.

Move over, Mexico.  You've got a rival in the competition for worst water quality ever. Fortunately, bottled water is super cheap over here (about 9 yuan or $1.50 for a 5 gallon jug) and always readily available. Most Chinese drink bottled water or boiled water because the tap water is so bad.  I personally have been buying tea and juice in large jugs and then reusing the container to hold tap water that I've boiled.

10. In most traditional style restaurants or cafeterias, portions are twice the size you'd expect.

In America, we always talk about portioning and eating smaller meals.  Here, portioning doesn't exist.  If Chinese people want to lose weight, they'll simply skip meals. This is likely because, if you go out to eat a lot (because restaurants are literally everywhere and relatively inexpensive), they will give you huge portions of everything you order. I made the mistake of ordering a big bowl of soup once. I could have split it with 4 people and still have been stuffed.

I have learned so much more, but there is also still so much more to learn.  I am settling down into my apartment in Chengde, making friends with other foreign teachers and residents in my complex.  I look forward to keeping this blog updated every couple of weeks.  I will edit this blog to include pictures later, but I just wanted to get this out there now while it's fresh. Also, I want to go to bed because it has been a long, exhausting, exhilarating 10 days. 

Keystone XL Pipeline VETOED!!!...And why this isn't as good as it sounds

I'm someone who considers herself to be deeply connected the environment that surrounds my home. When I heard about the Keystone XL Pipeline and all of it's not-so-secret detrimental effects to the environment, I took up arms and banners against it. I protested and posted blogs.  I let my friends on social media and the poor interns at my senators' and representative's offices have it.  I was angry.

I still am.


1) The Keystone XL Pipeline infringes upon thousands of acres of valuable corridor habitat. These places allow migratory species to rest and refuel before continuing their journey to their summer or winter homes.

2) KXL carries the severe potential to leak.  While the the organizations who have vouchsafed the material that the pipeline would be constructed out of, they either could not or would not test the junctions, which is where most major leaks occur.

3) The process to extract and refine tar sands oil is inefficient and costly.

4) The "thousands" of jobs created are part-time and does not create a sustained job market.

BUT...Who is invested in this project?

If we just look at the list above, you see 2 investors:
            1) The United States (Government and People)
            2) Canadian Fuel Market

But (hold onto your socks, they're about to get knocked off) we're not the only ones who matter in a global market.

Are we honestly so arrogant to think that if we stop KXL from being built that Canada will just say, "Oh, OK. If the US doesn't want our oil, then we just won't develop this highly coveted resource"?

I was. I thought about my home.  Nebraska farmers and city-folk alike came together and submitted claims of unconstitutionality against KXL.  I thought about about the sandhills and the bluffs and the rivers, all unique environments desperately needed by the migratory birds that we are so famous for in early spring.  I thought about my air and water quality and the economy that I participate in.

But, in the grand scheme of things, I don't matter.

Let's give ourselves a brief pat on the back, U.S.  Even though we are still far from acceptable, the United States has set, maintained, and (more importantly) enforced certain environmental standards that are among the best and most rigorous in the world. And that's just on a federal level. State-wise, there can be additional regulations and consequences to reduce contamination and detrimental development.  (Insert happy dance).

But don't get too happy. In 2010 study, we still ranked 25th out of 25 developed and typically Western countries with environmental standards.  And, if we are so low, imagine the types of standards and level of enforcement (or, perhaps more fitting, lack thereof) in less developed countries or in those countries that are even more isolationist than we are.

Let's look at China, another heavy hitter and high bidder for this valuable, but dangerous resource. In a very brief comparison summary of Chinese vs US air quality standards, you can see that Chinese air contamination (and lack of strict environmental regulations) severely affects the quality of life of the people, especially children, living there. Primary school students have to be taught how to breathe shallowly in order to minimize their exposure to pollution.

Now let's get hypothetical:
The US has broken off all ties to Canada's tar sands oil.  We've explicitly stated we will not permit it within our borders.  China, now the highest bidder, gets the oil.
              Problem 1: Oil can only be exported to China via oceanic oil tankers. Great.  Before we even get the fuel to China, we have to deal with an increased risk of oil spills in the Pacific. 
Once the oil gets to the various Chinese plants and stations that require it, it is burned.
             Problem 2: Depending on the location of these plants/stations, environmental regulations cannot be reliably enforced. Cool. So, omitting the disastrous levels of pollution that get put out in the extraction and refining processes AND  the pollution and risk of spills to get the oil to these plants/stations [both of which hold similar variables in the US's version of this equation], there might not be any actual environmental regulation on how much of this oil can be burned at once/how to get rid of any dangerous by-products/etc...

In this hypothetical situation, the net negative of the US not having KXL outweighs the net negative of the US building KXL.  In this situation, one of many like it, the US was actually globally irresponsible in refusing the oil.

Back to the point: the president vetoed the bill to approve the construction of KXL today.
For the US regional ecosystem, this is undoubtedly a win.
In order for it to also be a win on a global scale, we have to look past our economy, our environment, our small but significant lives.
At the grandest scale, we need to eradicate the need for oil.
At the present scale, we need to eradicate the need for this particular Canadian tar sands oil.

Senior Year Round 2: The Beginning of the End

I know I haven't been the most faithful of bloggers. It escapes me from time to time.

But just to prove I'm not just another dingus-head, I figured I'd show you a bit of what I'm currently up to. And I promise: big New Years Post coming soon!

Cheers!

Vespers (A collection of 3 poems)

I. A sentence

, which is not to say that I am lacking in that respect, but rather that my voice, a voice that relies on a pair of inherited chromosomes, the eternal promise that this air, the same air we’re sharing, will always be able to vibrate and carry those vibrations and transfer them to the hidden receptacles within your body so that you can interpret them, and not an insignificant amount of chance that my shaking voice will match to patterns you are familiar with – but of course you must be familiar with them as you are human and I am human and our humanities allow for a certain amount of innate understanding of one another unless you are, well, you know those people to whom I refer; there is a difference between talking and speaking and it lies in the fact that for one, there is no purpose, and for the other, the purpose is complex, evolving, and inviting others to eventually join a larger conversation over something that is personally meaningful and to somehow have to convey these abstract ideas and words by means of voices over which we have no control,

II.An Afterthought OR My views on the purpose of existence

(                          )

III.My Poem

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth.” – Oscar Wilde

I speak with words not my own.

Who owns each syllable, each sound that drops from my lips like diamonds and diamondbacks?

Each hiss of breath,

hiss of hot lead

feverishly melting in delicate patterns on paper,

who owns this?

The writer has the fever,

infects her audience with its heat,

but the fever belongs to the disease which has come before,

and will come again,

though an age may pass in between of curséd health.

It’s the cacophony of teeth,

the smell of sweat and stale vomit,

the neatly simmered rage,

all of these things of mine,

that plagiarize the playwrights and philosophers of old,

those rulers of the Golden age of thought and reason and linguistic innovation,

who, in turn, plagiarized the divinity of the planets they could see,

somehow turning them into a mockery of a representation in the process.

But the planets are mere shadows in the background of some ancient man’s cave painting

and in the foreground is the only truth he knows:

the immediacy of his situation and,

unable to see past his need and into the future, he

like me,

speaks with words not our own.

An Open Letter to President Obama and the 113th United States Congress

Mr. President, Senators, and Representatives,

I would like to express my extreme displeasure at the way you look at your homeland.  You stare at it with greedy eyes, reminiscent of the cartoon characters we used to watch on Saturday mornings.  Your soul eats evil green paper like it is the food of the gods and your belt of morality gets tighter and tighter until you take it off and all you have left is your hunger.

This is unacceptable.

America is not a run down gas station that needs more brown oil oozing through its cracks and faults.  It is not a bank account that you can withdraw from and then, when you're overdrawn, you just get a slap on the wrist.

America is a landscape, a factory, a conversation.  It takes effort, critical thinking, and maintenance, not magic, petty grovelling, and band-aid solutions.  We are better than that.  You are better than that.  Wake up and realize this.

To my point, Representatives and Senators who have supported the Keystone XL Pipeline:
Shame on you.  You are lacking in perhaps the most important aspect of governance and that is working towards sustainability.  The founding fathers wrote the Bill of Rights knowing full well that it would have been easier to explicitly state all of the rights that individuals, state governments, and the federal government had because limitations would make working within the system easier.  However, they knew that it was not sustainable and they had to reach a compromise that allowed for ambiguity, uncertainty about the changing times, in order to maintain a thriving United States.

The bill you are pushing through has no such concessions for uncertainty and evolution of American culture.  It is a bedazzled eye-sore that you are forcing, unwanted, upon us American citizens who still believe that this crazy system is working.

Mr. Obama:
It has come out that, while you may still veto the approval of the Keystone Pipeline, you may use it as a bargaining chip in the future.  Mr. President, our country is not a bargaining chip and if you think that our country only extends to the urban environments, then you are sorely mistaken.

The facts are there: the jobs created by the Pipeline are temporary and we could be putting our construction industry to far better and more sustainable use.  The pipes are structurally strong in the middle, but the junctions are untested, which is where leaks occur.  Most of the revenue that is expected to come out of this project will not even stay in the US.  By enabling Canada's fracking, which is widely accepted as a danger process for both the human and environmental elements, the US would send a message to the world that the end, however temporary, justifies the means.

But clearly facts are not at play here.  Science, once picked up by the political system, becomes meaningless.  And it is for this reason, that I am imploring you on the basis of your humanity, your appreciation of beauty, and your faith in the American people to take the high road: Please do not approve of the Keystone XL Pipeline.

We are better than that.


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To contact your senator, visit:
http://www.senate.gov/reference/common/faq/How_to_contact_senators.htm

To get more facts about the Keystone XL Pipeline, visit:
http://www.factcheck.org/2014/03/pipeline-primer/