The Serendipitous Speculations of Sara

Saturday, May 19, 2018

What's your number?

What's your number? How many more mass shootings until we decide "Hey, maybe it's time to sacrifice some of our privileges (and yes, it is a privilege to be able to afford a semi- or full automatic weapon or high capacity magazine) for others to continue to exercise their right to live?"

For me, this is 191 too many.

Columbine High School.
Heritage High School.
Deming Middle School.
Fort Gibson Middle School.
Buell Elementary School.
Lake Worth Middle School.
University of Arkansas.
Junipero Serra High School.
Santana High School.
Bishop Neumann High School.
Pacific Lutheran University.
Granite Hills High School.
Lew Wallace High School.
Martin Luther King, Jr. High School.
Appalachian School of Law.
Washington High School.
Conception Abbey.
Benjamin Tasker Middle School.
University of Arizona.
Lincoln High School.
John McDonogh High School.
Red Lion Area Junior High School.
Case Western Reserve University.
Rocori High School.
Ballou High School.
Randallstown High School.
Bowen High School.
Red Lake Senior High School.
Harlan Community Academy High School. Campbell County High School.
Milwee Middle School.
Roseburg High School.
Pine Middle School.
Essex Elementary School.
Duquesne University.
Platte Canyon High School.
Weston High School.
West Nickel Mines School.
Joplin Memorial Middle School.
Henry Foss High School.
Compton Centennial High School.
Virginia Tech.
Success Tech Academy.
Miami Carol City Senior High School.
Hamilton High School.
Louisiana Technical College.
Mitchell High School.
E.O. Green Junior High School.
Northern Illinois University.
Lakota Middle School.
Knoxville Central High School.
Willoughby South High School.
Henry Ford High School.
University of Central Arkansas.
Dillard High School.
Dunbar High School.
Hampton University.
Harvard College.
Larose-Cut Off Middle School.
International Studies Academy.
Skyline College.
Discovery Middle School.
University of Alabama.
DeKalb School.
Deer Creek Middle School.
Ohio State University.
Mumford High School.
University of Texas.
Kelly Elementary School.
Marinette High School.
Aurora Central High School.
Millard South High School.
Martinsville West Middle School.
Worthing High School.
Highlands Intermediate School.
Cape Fear High School.
Chardon High School.
Episcopal School of Jacksonville.
Oikos University, Hamilton High School.
Perry Hall School.
Normal Community High School.
University of South Alabama.
Banner Academy South.
University of Southern California.
Sandy Hook Elementary School.
Apostolic Revival Center Christian School.
Taft Union High School.
Osborn High School.
Stevens Institute of Business and Arts.
Hazard Community and Technical College.
Chicago State University.
Lone Star College-North.
Cesar Chavez High School.
Price Middle School.
University of Central Florida.
New River Community College.
Grambling State University.
Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
Ossie Ware Mitchell Middle School.
Ronald E. McNair Discovery Academy.
North Panola High School.
Carver High School.
Gape Christian Academy.
Sparks Middle School.
North Carolina A&T State University.
Stephenson High School.
Brashear High School.
West Orange High School.
Arapahoe High School.
Edison High School.
Liberty Technology Magnet High School.
Hillhouse High School.
Berrendo Middle School.
Purdue University.
South Carolina State University.
Los Angeles Valley College.
Charles F. Brush High School.
University of Southern California.
Georgia Regents University.
Academy of Knowledge Preschool.
Benjamin Banneker High School.
D. H. Conley High School.
East English Village Preparatory Academy.
Paine College.
Georgia Gwinnett College.
John F. Kennedy High School.
Seattle Pacific University.
Reynolds High School.
Miami Alternative School.
Indiana State University.
Albemarle High School.
Fern Creek Traditional High School.
Langston Hughes High School.
Marysville Pilchuck High School.
Florida State University.
Miami Carol City High School.
Rogers State University.
Rosemary Anderson High School.
Wisconsin Lutheran High School.
Frederick High School.
Tenaya Middle School.
Bethune-Cookman University.
Pershing Elementary School.
Wayne Community College.
J.B. Martin Middle School.
Southwestern Classical Academy.
Savannah State University.
Harrisburg High School.
Umpqua Community College.
Northern Arizona University.
Texas Southern University.
Tennessee State University.
Winston-Salem State University.
Mojave High School.
Lawrence Central High School.
Franklin High School.
Muskegon Heights High School.
Independence High School.
Madison High School.
Antigo High School.
University of California-Los Angeles.
Jeremiah Burke High School.
Alpine High School.
Townville Elementary School.
Vigor High School.
Linden McKinley STEM Academy.
June Jordan High School for Equity.
Union Middle School.
Mueller Park Junior High School.
West Liberty-Salem High School.
University of Washington.
King City High School.
North Park Elementary School.
North Lake College.
Freeman High School.
Mattoon High School.
Rancho Tehama Elementary School.
Aztec High School.
Wake Forest University.
Italy High School.
NET Charter High School.
Marshall County High School.
Sal Castro Middle School.
Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School
Great Mills High School
Central Michigan University
Huffman High School
Frederick Douglass High School
Forest High School
Highland High School
Dixon High School
Santa Fe High School

Call local businesses that sell firearms and ammunition.
Call city councilors, state senators or representatives, mayors, governors, and attorney generals.
Call your congressional representatives.

This matters. You matter. Why are you waiting? You can stop this.

Friday, April 13, 2018

Songs of Me - as of 2015

I recently went through my message drafts and found songs that I've been collecting since the late '00s as songs that resonated with me or described me in some way. As it's currently trending, I figured I'd reveal the list (unedited) to share with my readers the songs that have shaped me into the strong, adventurous, and definitely weird woman that I am today.

Music has always been an incredible influence in my life. The last update was from 2015, but I still listen to many of these songs to remind me of where I came from, where I've gone, and what I have to look forward to.

And so, without further ado, my list:

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Wisdom Teeth and the Fallacy of the "Elective Surgery"

Warning. Rant fueled by a soft food diet I'm so sick of that I've willingly succumbed to the Hangry.

-----

So about a year ago, my dentist remarked that my wisdom teeth should probably come out.
Nonsense, I thought. They didn't hurt and besides, my mom still has all of hers so I must be genetically fit for this pearly prudence procured post-puberty.

Alliteration aside, I was doing quite well until they started to hurt later that day. It was probably from all of the normal poking and prodding they do, but with the dentist's warning still swirling around my brain, I couldn't help but freak myself out. What if they were rotting away inside mouth like some moldy living rock? My cat had gone through this a few years before and my love for her was only dwarfed by the intensity of her rank breath.

Fears of dead teeth and cat breath aside, I ignored the dentist until the next check-up where, again, he warned me of decay and ominously stated, "Your wisdom teeth need to come out in the next six months."

It was like he had muttered an incantation, triggering the self-fulfilling prophecy. Once again, my wisdom teeth began hurting after the visit and the pain lasted longer this time.

In a panic, I scheduled an appointment with the recommended surgical center and stewed in my fear-tinged resentment until the fated day came.
X-rays, a consultation, and then the surgeon walks in.
"Your teeth are all fully erupted. It should be an easy, 20 minute procedure. They are stained which is often an indicator for future decay."
Stained. Stained. No matter my affection for red wine and dire need for coffee or their effect on my other teeth. Somehow the "stain" only matters on the wisdom teeth, which need to come out.

"But it's your choice. It's an elective procedure. Most people do it."
The last time I tried to use that logic, I was presented with the counterargument, "And if most people jumped off a bridge?"
To be fair, as long as there was a bungee cord or a trampoline at the end, the answer would probably be Hell Yeah.

I was IV sedated at 11:17, or so says my FitBit, and I looked at it again at 12:11, mostly lucid and resolutely determined NOT to make a complete fool of myself like those viral idiots with their mouth full of gauze. Instead I was going to be a dignified idiot, mouth full of gauze notwithstanding.

I slept and iced and slept and iced for a full 48 hours and, fortunately, the swelling remained minimal. But the pain. That needle-y pain of a dental hygienist poking your gum with her cruel instruments in the same spot endlessly, the impossible jaw exhaustion you thought you'd seen the last of after screaming all night at that Linkin Park concert when you were 21 (RIP Chester Bennington), the taste of blood in your mouth like freshly printed pennies.

And the suction. The suction from your cheeks against the sockets every time you want to click your tongue, clear the food away from the still sensitive area, or even swallow. That feeling that is not so much pain as discomfort as your body thinks, "Well...that's not normal."

I admit I was "informed" of the procedure's voluntary nature, but I nonetheless feel pressured into making my "decision" by my dentist and by the nurses who suggested I schedule the consultation immediately before the surgery. Will having my wisdom teeth out help me in the long run? Who knows? Sure it was kinda hard to get back there with a toothbrush, but I think they make special ones these days. I mean, it is 2018.

Moral of the story, listen to your body. My body didn't think it needed surgery and would've liked to have a bit more time to think about the options.

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Sara Sucks at Fitness Update: New Year, New Perspective

well...

...that didn't go as planned.

On December 28th, with 3 days to go in my challenge, I quit.

There are excuses. I couldn't bend over to touch my toes because my quads and glutes hurt so much.
I had to stay up really late to cat up on some long over-due work one night and missed out on like 85 squats and the thought of catching them up was too daunting.
My body was tired and needed more than just 3 rest days that month, especially because I was doing the prescribed number of squats on top of all of my regular runs, core work outs, and Zumba Step (I love my instructor, but good LORD does she love her squat songs!).
Excuses, valid or no, are still excuses and I was so close that my failure feels like a punch to the gut.

But I need to walk away from it stronger, not weaker. I mean, hells bells. I just did 1700 squats in December. I'm fairly certain that that's more squats than I'd ever done in my life. I better have a gloriously strong behind.

More seriously, I need to walk away knowing that because I have come so close now, I can reach my goal in the future.
I need to know that integrating challenges into my daily routine will lead me to a more successful result in life as well as the gym.
I need to know that it's okay to share my progress with others because they'll cheer me on and give me the strength to push through to the finish when I think I'm too tired.
I need to know that, damn, I just did 1700 squats, and that's not nothing.

So happy 2018, folks and blokes. I'll be back at it again in no time.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Sara Sucks at Fitness Update: Rest Day

Yesterday, I ran a holiday 5k (which was actually a 6k due to how they routed the 2nd and 3rd loops of the course, but who's counting). I ran the first mile with a cheap, dollar store, reindeer antler headband but the wind turned my fashion statement into a hazard so I had to take them off.

2 hours and a half a banana later, I was off to run another 4 k with a friend, testing out the Galloway method for the first time. Initial reaction: I need to play around with the intervals. We did 1:30 run/0:30 walk and I think I'd like something closer to a 3:00 run/0:45 walk, but I'll keep experimenting.

And last, but certainly not least, drumroll please...

I have stayed true to my squat challenge!!! 360 squats later and I have reached my first rest day.

Rest days can be particularly challenging for me as a lazy person. It's hard for me to pick up my progress from where I dropped it the day, two, three, weeks before. I end up right back where I started, thinking I should workout for 2 weeks and then stopping. It's a cycle that gets me no where, pushes no limits, and leaves me feeling defeated.

On the other extreme, rest days can seem like an obstacle for your true goal. You feel like you need to keep pushing to drop those last 2 pounds or cut those last 15 seconds. A rest day is the last thing you need in order to get harder, better, faster, stronger (more than ever/hour after/our work is/never over). But that mentality can leave you injured, fatigued, and unhealthy in a brand new way.

Like all things, exercise and dieting is best done in moderation. Every expert and "expert" will have their own caveats, but clichés are popular for a reason and everything but the kitchen sink kills two birds with one stone. Wait, what?

Tomorrow I start again with 65 squats and it's been very helpful to do them in quick bursts of 15-20 with 10 second breaks between sets. I am learning a lot about how I need to train myself to train, which, as convoluted as it sounds, is an essential life skill. It's great to have accomplishments and to throw out arbitrary numbers of how many reps you'll do and how much you'll lift and how far you'll run, but the hard and dirty work is the time you have to put in to prepare. It's never just the longer runs and workouts. It's also the stretching, the meal prep, the playlist curating, the laundry, and, worst of all, the saying "no" to friends who want you to go out to eat or have another drink.

Success is selfish, but that's not a bad thing. And neither is saying "Hell. Yes." to those Quatro Queso Dos Fritos every once in a while. I look forward to keeping up this progress while remembering that self-love comes in many different, and sometimes delicious, forms.

Cheers!

This balaclava certainly gives me the "ninja" vibe.

Friday, December 1, 2017

Sara Sucks at Fitness

2017 was a year of first for me, fitness wise.

I'm pretty sure it's the first time that I have intentionally jogged at least once every single month (although maybe not every single week...). We're starting small here.

I also ran my second and third half-marathons, which means it was the first time I have run 2 major races in a single year and, totaled together, I basically ran a marathon (hearty guffaw).

I got my first tattoo. It is located on my foot which is prone to going numb while running and I haven't yet scheduled my first doctor's appointment to see if that may be a cause.

I found my first pair of shoes that totally cured my foot-numbness-while-running (God bless you Lincoln Running Company and Brooks Glycerin 14s) and I also subsequently wore out those shoes and went right back to where I started. To solve that problem, I made my first multiple shoe purchase and bought 2 pairs of the exact same shoe in a size that feels much too big for me normally but fit just right when I run.

I bought the Tube and it was a total game changer.

I learned the value of a good lacrosse ball and/or foam roller.

I started Zumba Step.

I ran my first adventure race, which was a triathlon sprint (canoeing, trail running, and biking) and I learned that my feet still can't handle anything but roads or they fall asleep in protest (lazy bitches, but I love them).

I started regularly attending a core class. Sure it's only 25 minutes. Sure it's only once a week. But I'm doing it and that's what counts.

I started night-running.

And yet for all of this, I'm still a turgle who magnificently manages to con myself out of morning exercise day after day. Something's gotta change.

So I challenged myself, this month, to do yet another first. I have always wanted to, and yet managed, to complete this thing. It has eluded me because, as I said, I am a master deception artist who can justify my apathy towards anything in a given moment. My brain knows I am overtly lying to itself and yet I still succeed in tricking it into submission.

And so, this month, I have challenged myself.....to complete the Holiday Squat-a-Thon. By December 31st, I will have completed 1975 squats. Why 1975? Idk. Because on the rest days I don't do any. Because The 1975 is a kickass band even though I sometimes can't understand all of the words they sing. Because Bill Gates and Paul Allen founded Microsoft that year in Albuquerque. Who even knows?

Whatever the reason, I'm doing this because I can and because I want to and because, frankly, I need to up my workout intensity if I want to justify the amount of carbs I'm going to enjoy this Christmas.

So Merry Squat-mas, Happy Christmas, and to all a blessed holiday season.

Cheers!

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Female Friendship

There are some friends who grow with you until you both grow apart.
There are some friends whose path you cross once and never meet again.
There are some friends who will lead the charge into drunken shenanigans.

This is a letter to one of my greatest friends, who is none of the above.
If you don't understand, good. You don't have to.
--

Florida Is Not Indonesia:

where you have blessed

Caramelizing skin in a hot southern sun,

sand like sugar crystals on bare feet

pacing slowly with great purpose

Under the omniscient eyes of her Father,

loving others as she has been loved by Him.

Poised and vivacious laughter spilling from the same lips

as speak encouragement to wayfaring hearts

and comfort to salt-streaked eyes.

Calloused souls massaged and manicured

by a collective sense of peace.

Ask of her nothing. She already gives freely

and gift her your time to be rewarded twice over.

Wit, tenor, charity, true

Kismet drawn, and bound by greatness

to travel with grace to the least of these.

Endings are bittersweet, a chocolate best found in cookies

which there are sure to be a lot of.

Her sweet tooth is as bad as mine.

So I ask of the universe, could one have been sent a better friend?