Wisdom Teeth and the Fallacy of the "Elective Surgery"

Warning. Rant fueled by a soft food diet I'm so sick of that I've willingly succumbed to the Hangry.

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So about a year ago, my dentist remarked that my wisdom teeth should probably come out.
Nonsense, I thought. They didn't hurt and besides, my mom still has all of hers so I must be genetically fit for this pearly prudence procured post-puberty.

Alliteration aside, I was doing quite well until they started to hurt later that day. It was probably from all of the normal poking and prodding they do, but with the dentist's warning still swirling around my brain, I couldn't help but freak myself out.  What if they were rotting away inside mouth like some moldy living rock?  My cat had gone through this a few years before and my love for her was only dwarfed by the intensity of her rank breath.

Fears of dead teeth and cat breath aside, I ignored the dentist until the next check-up where, again, he warned me of decay and ominously stated, "Your wisdom teeth need to come out in the next six months."

It was like he had muttered an incantation, triggering the self-fulfilling prophecy.  Once again, my wisdom teeth began hurting after the visit and the pain lasted longer this time.

In a panic, I scheduled an appointment with the recommended surgical center and stewed in my fear-tinged resentment until the fated day came.
X-rays, a consultation, and then the surgeon walks in.
"Your teeth are all fully erupted. It should be an easy, 20 minute procedure.  They are stained which is often an indicator for future decay."
Stained. Stained. No matter my affection for red wine and dire need for coffee or their effect on my other teeth. Somehow the "stain" only matters on the wisdom teeth, which need to come out.

"But it's your choice. It's an elective procedure. Most people do it."
The last time I tried to use that logic, I was presented with the counterargument, "And if most people jumped off a bridge?"
To be fair, as long as there was a bungee cord or a trampoline at the end, the answer would probably be Hell Yeah.

I was IV sedated at 11:17, or so says my FitBit, and I looked at it again at 12:11, mostly lucid and resolutely determined NOT to make a complete fool of myself like those viral idiots with their mouth full of gauze. Instead I was going to be a dignified idiot, mouth full of gauze notwithstanding.

I slept and iced and slept and iced for a full 48 hours and, fortunately, the swelling remained minimal. But the pain. That needle-y pain of a dental hygienist poking your gum with her cruel instruments in the same spot endlessly, the impossible jaw exhaustion you thought you'd seen the last of after screaming all night at that Linkin Park concert when you were 21 (RIP Chester Bennington), the taste of blood in your mouth like freshly printed pennies.

And the suction. The suction from your cheeks against the sockets every time you want to click your tongue, clear the food away from the still sensitive area, or even swallow. That feeling that is not so much pain as discomfort as your body thinks, "Well...that's not normal."

I admit I was "informed" of the procedure's voluntary nature, but I nonetheless feel pressured into making my "decision" by my dentist and by the nurses who suggested I schedule the consultation immediately before the surgery. Will having my wisdom teeth out help me in the long run? Who knows? Sure it was kinda hard to get back there with a toothbrush, but I think they make special ones these days. I mean, it is 2018.

Moral of the story, listen to your body. My body didn't think it needed surgery and would've liked to have a bit more time to think about the options.

Sara Sucks at Fitness Update: New Year, New Perspective

well...

...that didn't go as planned.

On December 28th, with 3 days to go in my challenge, I quit.

There are excuses. I couldn't bend over to touch my toes because my quads and glutes hurt so much.
I had to stay up really late to cat up on some long over-due work one night and missed out on like 85 squats and the thought of catching them up was too daunting.
My body was tired and needed more than just 3 rest days that month, especially because I was doing the prescribed number of squats on top of all of my regular runs, core work outs, and Zumba Step (I love my instructor, but good LORD does she love her squat songs!).
Excuses, valid or no, are still excuses and I was so close that my failure feels like a punch to the gut.

But I need to walk away from it stronger, not weaker. I mean, hells bells. I just did 1700 squats in December.  I'm fairly certain that that's more squats than I'd ever done in my life.  I better have a gloriously strong behind.

More seriously, I need to walk away knowing that because I have come so close now, I can reach my goal in the future.
I need to know that integrating challenges into my daily routine will lead me to a more successful result in life as well as the gym.
I need to know that it's okay to share my progress with others because they'll cheer me on and give me the strength to push through to the finish when I think I'm too tired.
I need to know that, damn, I just did 1700 squats, and that's not nothing.

So happy 2018, folks and blokes. I'll be back at it again in no time.

Sara Sucks at Fitness Update: Rest Day

Yesterday, I ran a holiday 5k (which was actually a 6k due to how they routed the 2nd and 3rd loops of the course, but who's counting).  I ran the first mile with a cheap, dollar store, reindeer antler headband but the wind turned my fashion statement into a hazard so I had to take them off.

2 hours and a half a banana later, I was off to run another 4 k with a friend, testing out the Galloway method for the first time. Initial reaction: I need to play around with the intervals. We did 1:30 run/0:30 walk and I think I'd like something closer to a 3:00 run/0:45 walk, but I'll keep experimenting.

And last, but certainly not least, drumroll please...

I have stayed true to my squat challenge!!! 360 squats later and I have reached my first rest day.

Rest days can be particularly challenging for me as a lazy person. It's hard for me to pick up my progress from where I dropped it the day, two, three, weeks before. I end up right back where I started, thinking I should workout for 2 weeks and then stopping. It's a cycle that gets me no where, pushes no limits, and leaves me feeling defeated.

On the other extreme, rest days can seem like an obstacle for your true goal.  You feel like you need to keep pushing to drop those last 2 pounds or cut those last 15 seconds. A rest day is the last thing you need in order to get harder, better, faster, stronger (more than ever/hour after/our work is/never over). But that mentality can leave you injured, fatigued, and unhealthy in a brand new way.

Like all things, exercise and dieting is best done in moderation.  Every expert and "expert" will have their own caveats, but clichés are popular for a reason and everything but the kitchen sink kills two birds with one stone. Wait, what?

Tomorrow I start again with 65 squats and it's been very helpful to do them in quick bursts of 15-20 with 10 second breaks between sets.  I am learning a lot about how I need to train myself to train, which, as convoluted as it sounds, is an essential life skill. It's great to have accomplishments and to throw out arbitrary numbers of how many reps you'll do and how much you'll lift and how far you'll run, but the hard and dirty work is the time you have to put in to prepare.  It's never just the longer runs and workouts. It's also the stretching, the meal prep, the playlist curating, the laundry, and, worst of all, the saying "no" to friends who want you to go out to eat or have another drink.

Success is selfish, but that's not a bad thing. And neither is saying "Hell. Yes." to those Quatro Queso Dos Fritos every once in a while. I look forward to keeping up this progress while remembering that self-love comes in many different, and sometimes delicious, forms.

Cheers!

This balaclava certainly gives me the "ninja" vibe.

Sara Sucks at Fitness

2017 was a year of first for me, fitness wise.

I'm pretty sure it's the first time that I have intentionally jogged at least once every single month (although maybe not every single week...). We're starting small here.

I also ran my second and third half-marathons, which means it was the first time I have run 2 major races in a single year and, totaled together, I basically ran a marathon (hearty guffaw).

I got my first tattoo.  It is located on my foot which is prone to going numb while running and I haven't yet scheduled my first doctor's appointment to see if that may be a cause.

I found my first pair of shoes that totally cured my foot-numbness-while-running (God bless you Lincoln Running Company and Brooks Glycerin 14s) and I also subsequently wore out those shoes and went right back to where I started.  To solve that problem, I made my first multiple shoe purchase and bought 2 pairs of the exact same shoe in a size that feels much too big for me normally but fit just right when I run.

I bought the Tube and it was a total game changer.

I learned the value of a good lacrosse ball and/or foam roller.

I started Zumba Step.

I ran my first adventure race, which was a triathlon sprint (canoeing, trail running, and biking) and I learned that my feet still can't handle anything but roads or they fall asleep in protest (lazy bitches, but I love them).

I started regularly attending a core class. Sure it's only 25 minutes. Sure it's only once a week. But I'm doing it and that's what counts.

I started night-running.

And yet for all of this, I'm still a turgle who magnificently manages to con myself out of morning exercise day after day.  Something's gotta change.

So I challenged myself, this month, to do yet another first.  I have always wanted to, and yet managed, to complete this thing.  It has eluded me because, as I said, I am a master deception artist who can justify my apathy towards anything in a given moment. My brain knows I am overtly lying to itself and yet I still succeed in tricking it into submission.

And so, this month, I have challenged myself.....to complete the Holiday Squat-a-Thon.  By December 31st, I will have completed 1975 squats.  Why 1975?  Idk. Because on the rest days I don't do any. Because The 1975 is a kickass band even though I sometimes can't understand all of the words they sing.  Because Bill Gates and Paul Allen founded Microsoft that year in Albuquerque.  Who even knows?

Whatever the reason, I'm doing this because I can and because I want to and because, frankly, I need to up my workout intensity if I want to justify the amount of carbs I'm going to enjoy this Christmas.

So Merry Squat-mas, Happy Christmas, and to all a blessed holiday season.

Cheers!

Female Friendship

There are some friends who grow with you until you both grow apart.
There are some friends whose path you cross once and never meet again.
There are some friends who will lead the charge into drunken shenanigans.

This is a letter to one of my greatest friends, who is none of the above.
If you don't understand, good. You don't have to.
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Florida Is Not Indonesia:

           where you have blessed

                                

Caramelizing skin in a hot southern sun,

sand like sugar crystals on bare feet

pacing slowly with great purpose

Under the omniscient eyes of her Father,

loving others as she has been loved by Him.

Poised and vivacious laughter spilling from the same lips

as speak encouragement to wayfaring hearts

and comfort to salt-streaked eyes.

Calloused souls massaged and manicured

by a collective sense of peace.

Ask of her nothing. She already gives freely

and gift her your time to be rewarded twice over.

Wit, tenor, charity, true

Kismet drawn, and bound by greatness

to travel with grace to the least of these.

Endings are bittersweet, a chocolate best found in cookies

which there are sure to be a lot of.

Her sweet tooth is as bad as mine.

So I ask of the universe, could one have been sent a better friend?

Career Goals: an introspective

The world is white-black and my eyes are liars who’ve not yet betrayed my heart.

Destructive interference in cardiomyopic waves,

Solutions muddled in a Collins glass shaken with two parts rum, one part lime juice and Hemingway’s pen scratching away on a white-black book against this dingy bar,

Drinking until his dreams are no longer paralyzing.

A Hemingway and a Hamlet

Torn in directions by dreams

By dreams, per chance, or by duty

To find calling in the world or to be led, listless, towards a destiny chosen by your father?

It’s a difficult path to pioneer when you head fights your heart,

but where is the path for the heart that fights itself?

A ring with only one boxer has no winner,

Only a point: it is fruitless to try to strike the left hand with the left glove.

By duty am I bound

But lies down this fate no freedom, that is

No delight, that is

No guilt.

By passion am I drawn

But lies down this fate no honor, that is

No fidelity, that is

No rancor.

Butter-rum skin on universal white-black canvas

melting indecisively as though relativity were a joke everyone is in on but me:

An imposter-scribe of my own life events

Fighting the shadow of the thoughts that create me

Betraying the cardial crossroads when my eyes sneak a glance at one of a million possible destinations.

10 things I learned from my first 10 days in China

I am embarking on a year-long journey to teach English in a country where I can't speak or read anything, with credentials any American school would scoff at.

I better have a steep learning curve.

1. Develop a keen sense of SPATIAL AWARENESS.

This is probably the most important thing I've learned. One of the guys in my program is half-Chinese and he noted that this generation really is the very first generation of Chinese drivers.  Hence the merging, lane changing, turning, and stopping like complete maniacs.  Also, standing in line? Doesn't really happen much.  So, whether you want to stay alive on the streets of Beijing or simply get on an elevator, know who and what is around you at all times.

2. Don't laugh at people wearing masks.

I know. In the US, it looks weird if someone is walking around wearing a medical mask. You might think they're being overcautious or pretentious.  In China, however, the pollution is so bad that they sky is almost never blue and the sun is never ever yellow. My host sister in Shijiazhuang explained to me that the sky is always gray and the sun is always white and if they ever see a blue sky, it means that the following day will be extremely hot.  I actually got sick in Shijiazhuang because my system wasn't prepared to filter out that much pollution.

3. Get used to the staring. Get used to the pictures. Get used to being a novelty.

Chinese people are shameless at this. Best thing to do? Smile and wave.

4. Just about anything can be eaten with chopsticks.

Watermelon? No problem. Pizza? Absolutely. Rice? You guessed it. Soup? Somehow, miraculously, yes.

5. Just because you can't speak the language doesn't mean you're stupid (even if they think you are).

This goes for Americans too.  All this nonsense about "If you're in my country, you better speak my language" is completely obsolete.  With the world becoming more and more connected (through internet, travel, etc.), knowing just a few important words and phrases (combined with a lot of pointing and sign language) is much more important for communication.  Language is very cultural and has meanings that can go beyond simply conveying information. You are not stupid just because you don't understand those cultural meanings.

6. Watch your tone.

A former teacher in Chengde told us a story about a time when he was with his boss and a bunch of colleagues signing for his pay.  He intended to compliment his boss (a woman) about her pen, which he said was nice and looked very expensive. However the word classifier for pen is zhī which looks the almost the same as the word for vagina (zhì).  So instead of complimenting her pen, he accidentally sexually harassed his boss.

7. There are a ton of holidays in China.

Seriously, when I start teaching next week, I'll have 2 days of class and then a 3 day holiday.  I get a week off  in October for their National Heritage Day (think Chinese-version of 4th of July, only spread out over a week).  I get 2 months between 1st and 2nd semester, and those are just the ones I know about. America, take note.

8. There is such a thing as Cheenglish and yes, it's as hilarious as it is sounds.

You'll see it everywhere. Menus that say "Sons of Milk Tea". T-shirts that say "Rock and Roll Never Die Will".  Laugh it off. Don't bother to correct. Take lots of pictures to show your friends.

9.  Don't drink the water.

Move over, Mexico.  You've got a rival in the competition for worst water quality ever. Fortunately, bottled water is super cheap over here (about 9 yuan or $1.50 for a 5 gallon jug) and always readily available. Most Chinese drink bottled water or boiled water because the tap water is so bad.  I personally have been buying tea and juice in large jugs and then reusing the container to hold tap water that I've boiled.

10. In most traditional style restaurants or cafeterias, portions are twice the size you'd expect.

In America, we always talk about portioning and eating smaller meals.  Here, portioning doesn't exist.  If Chinese people want to lose weight, they'll simply skip meals. This is likely because, if you go out to eat a lot (because restaurants are literally everywhere and relatively inexpensive), they will give you huge portions of everything you order. I made the mistake of ordering a big bowl of soup once. I could have split it with 4 people and still have been stuffed.

I have learned so much more, but there is also still so much more to learn.  I am settling down into my apartment in Chengde, making friends with other foreign teachers and residents in my complex.  I look forward to keeping this blog updated every couple of weeks.  I will edit this blog to include pictures later, but I just wanted to get this out there now while it's fresh. Also, I want to go to bed because it has been a long, exhausting, exhilarating 10 days.